Paramount Pictures He never did anything spontaneously; it all had to be planned in advance. Their main concern is their own expectations and goals, and they’re committed to completing those the way they want to. They put a high value on meeting commitments to others, however... Obligers readily meet outer expectations but they struggle to meet inner expectations, and while sweethearts sometimes count as "outer," they often count as "inner"—in which case Obligers don’t meet a spouse’s expectation, They require supervision, deadlines, monitoring, and other forms of accountability, They may have trouble saying "no" or setting limits on others’ demands, They may have trouble delegating, because they feel that an expectations attaches to them personally—"I can’t hire someone to mow the lawn; I have to do it myself", Spouses should ensure that the desires and needs of their Obliger spouses get articulated and met, or face the risk of Obliger-rebellion if Obligers feel that they’ve been exploited, neglected, or unheard for too long, They put a high value on freedom, choice, and self-expression; they can do anything they want to do, If someone asks or tells them to do something, they’re likely to resist – something like "doctor’s orders" annoy them, Rebels can often be manipulated to act out of resistance: "I’ll show you," "Watch me", They may choose to act out of love for you, They resist routines, schedules, and repetitive tasks; they like to act spontaneously—"It’s midnight, and now I feel like fixing that door", They resist supervision, advice, nagging, or reminders; when you remind Rebels to do a task, you’re very likely making it less likely that they will do it, They’re may resist settling down in a particular house, city, or job, To inspire a Rebel to act, it’s most effective to appeal to their identity, or to use information-consequence-choice. I haven’t been able to think of a good name. Unlike Upholders, Questioners don’t commit to expectations unless they deem them worthy of being committed to. A Rebel who wants to be a successful business leader will behave differently from one who doesn’t care much about work. If you don’t know anything about the Four Tendencies – whether you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel – you can take the free quiz here (more than 1.3 million people have taken it).

Also, I know I’m more likely to get an answer from him if I explain why I’m asking.

READ MORE! For instance, the obliger will meet outer expectations, but they are not always able to meet the expectations they set for themselves; they require accountability from others. It also helps you speak each other’s language when it comes to motivating each other to achieve.

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